The Bipolar Plea

SEE ME FOR WHO I AM!!!
SEE ME FOR WHO I AM NOT!!
SEE ME FOR WHO I SEE ME!!
SEE ME THROUGH IT ALL!!
See me for me......

I am not another "one"
Lost to the land of crazies.
I am desperately searching,
for a way, the right way.
It may take me awhile,
This path is unlit and daunting,
But don't forget the person you once knew....

The person you once knew.
The person who laughed with you.
The person who grasped onto a logical reality.
That person is me.
I'm still here, somewhere


Some... where....
Come.... here....
See... me....
Save... me....

To dream, I must lay my head down

Ah yes...
There you sit, so painfully close
Under your false umbrella of happiness.
The threadbare umbrella...
allowing the misery to seep in around,
Obvious to many,
Oblivious to you.

Ah yes...
Here I sit, so inconspicuously close
under clouds of envy and bitterness.
The thick, heavy clouds....
Releasing hateful pressure in exploding downpours
Obvious to me,
Oblivious to many.

Ah yes...
I long to sit among your naive circle,
Through a haze of falsity and wittiness
Dizzy, misleading haze...
Presenting the American Dream, if only a glimmer
Oblivious to many....
Oblivious to me....

Merry Christmas Japril 12-19-81

She was the prettiest baby I'd ever seen.
I thank God for giving her to me,
But when he did, he didn't say,
That he would soon be taking her away.
Just to look at her, would make your heart glow.

Sometimes I wonder why she had to go.
I guess the Lord thought she was too pretty to live
So he took her to heaven to be with him.

I still thank God for letter her
stay for awhile.
While she was hear she made
us forget the bad and smile
She would have been
8 months old this Christmas day.
Oh Japril I wish you could be here to play.
I don't think Jamie understands where
you went
But I know you would have had
fun together. Merry Christmas Japril
Mommy
<3


(My sister found this letter from my mom about my deceased sister Japril. Japril died of crib death just weeks after her birth.)